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Lev Grossman describes the style of Stephenie Meyer, whose garbologous vampire train wrecks are the object of my current mini-obsession, as "pillowy...distinctly reminiscent of Internet fan fiction."  A beautifully evocative adjective, yes? Still rather vague in this sentence, though. I think of a "pillowy" book as one you can take to bed: a comfortable, predictable story that leaves you feeling warm, unchallenged and happy. Since "pillowy" literally means "like a pillow" or "soft," Grossman seems to have something in mind more along the lines of "squishy, sentimental and lacking in true substance." I'd argue that Meyer's books are "pillowy=comfortable and soothing" because they are "pillowy=sentimental and light."

I also think "pillowy" should be removed from its derogatory relegation because it's perfect for so many other things: the warm rounded curves of the Green Mountains, the gentle hills of cumulus clouds on a summer day, the layered mounds of petals in a rose flower, the frothy and cool sensations of Key Lime pie, the undulant stillness of floating in a calm body of water, the comfortable portions of a loved one that you like to rest your head against and, of course, the yielding mountains of bedclothes upon with you drop into dreams.

Previous entries in the Stephenie Meyer series are here: #1, #2, #3 and #4.

I'm about 10 years late to the game, but this checklist for writers of Laby fanfic makes me crack up. It reminds me of the episodically long fanfic via E-mail I did with one of my friends during my first year of college and into the summer. I don't even remember what the plot was, but Jareth kept dragging us back and forth out of the Labyrinth. If I recall accurately, the Labyrinth was losing magic, and, for some reason, my friend and I had to be the ones to fix it. 

The one clever innovation we had was that we would write each other messages and occasionally IMs as if we were in plot ["I just had the weirdest experience; Jareth yanked me into the Labyrinth again..."], and I believe there was some writing in character from Jareth's point of view too. He, by the way, was immature, selfish, explosive, infuriating, manipulative, annoying and thoroughly unredeemable, which proved problematic as we struggled to find a justification for helping out the King of the Dickwads Goblins.

Anyway, we stopped writing after HUNDREDS of single-spaced pages. As we trailed off, I was stuck in the Labyrinth with only a pink computer for a communications device! OH NO!!! The non-ending ending amuses me because it makes me think of something like Dispatches From The Labyrinth. 

Now I'm getting nostalgic. I should look back at that file. [Yes, I still have it all in one file and NO YOU CAN'T READ IT.]

Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn's impressive physical comedy -- with rubbery, expressive faces and slapstick timing -- really make Death Becomes Her.  Competing for the affections of plastic surgeon and undertaker Ernest [played by Bruce Willis], Madeline [Streep] and Helen [Hawn] characters ingest a magical elixir that guarantees perfect youth. Unfortunately, the formula does not guarantee perfect invulnerability, so Madeline and Helen prevail upon Ernest to do their heavy-duty make-up and maintenance. Will they tempt Ernest  to immortality? Will they be able to keep themselves together [literally]? Who really ends up with immortality in the end? 

With dry wit, the script deftly skewers the modern equation of youth with beauty and happiness; Streep and Hawn, masters of zingy delivery, drop bons mots that kept me chuckling. They play their constant goat-getting with such relish that the fact of their misery goes slightly less noticed until the end, when they attend Ernest's funeral and learn that, through his kindness, charity, sense of humor and good works, as well as his descendants, he has truly reached immortality.

On a vampiric note, I enjoyed Death Becomes Her for its investigation of the flip side of immortality. Madeline and Helen's physical fragility exemplifies a damning and unexpected consequence of living forever. [I particularly liked Madeline's confrontation with the medical establishment. Her controversion of all laws of physics drives the examining physician to drink.] Meanwhile, Ernest, who thinks of immortality as boring, lonely and pointless, provides the philosophical argument for a finite lifespan.

[Filed under "vampires" for treatment of immortality.]

Today's ep is a flashback as Anneka talks to one of the oldest vampires in Boston, Chow, leader of the Chinatown clan.

Having acquired my own copy of Twilight, I can now revisit its wonderfully horrible fan-fictional melodrama any time I wish. HUZZAH!!!

There are some very unintentionally revealing articles about author Stephenie Meyer that I want to analyze, but I can't do it now, so I'll just link to them:

Stephenie Meyer: A New J.K. Rowling? by Lev Grossman, Time, April 24, 2008.

Stephenie Meyer [The New Time 100: #74] by Orson Scott Card, Time, May 5, 2008

The Story Behind Twilight by Stephenie Meyer, stepheniemeyer.com

I am firmly convinced of this. I just saw the teaser trailer for Twilight [previously mentioned here and here], in which Bella, a mortal, falls in love with Edward, a douchebag vampire. Because the trailer usually provides a condensed view of the movie's tone, cinematography, plot and acting abilities, I have no faith in the upcoming film. It appears that it will consist of people standing around looking dyspeptic and occasionally making hammy, passionate proclamations, all with portentous special effects and no sense of humor whatsoever. Regrettable, really, when Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are each young actors known for actually doing some good acting.

Wait...I take back what I said about there being no good vampire movies. Nosferatu is good.

I eagerly devoured Twilight by Stephenie Meyer, which I mentioned in a previous entry, and hoooooo boy, it was even better than I expected, which is to say that it was gloriously horrible!

So I was flipping through the "Orlando Official Vacation Guide 2008," a glossy publication of the Orlando/Orange County Convention and Visitors Bureau. Most of the pages cover conspicuous consumption, such as resorts, golf and shopping, although there are 6 pages about "Heritage," including a pitch for the Orange County Regional History Center, which tells the "story of Orlando -- from the Seminole Indians to Mickey Mouse -- through interactive exhibits."

Anyway, the "Attractions" section is fronted by a two-page spread that tries to guilt readers into consuming said attractions. I've scanned the pages below because I'm most interested in the way that the ad copy defines childhood, the supposed "problems" of childhood and "Attractions" as the cure.

First-class stamps up to 42c. Priority mail and postcards also increasing. Not sure about airmail. I send and receive very little US mail these days, but the news still makes me regretful.

sailorzeo suggested on the LHF site that I redo some of the 9 seasons of LHF that I did with dolls in order to re-establish the characters' back stories in this reboot of LHF. The mere thought of redoing those tons of stories fills me with exhaustion, but I think judicious use of flashbacks could help. Following is a list of things that I'd like to flash back to:

Eight Belles, second-place finisher at this year's Kentucky Derby, fell down with two ankle fractures after the race. She was then killed. A resuscitated Slate article, discussing another racehorse killed for having a broken leg, explains why horses with broken legs are frequently killed by their owners. Basically, there are several risk factors for a horse with a broken leg.

And LHF is live! Or dead! Or undead. Anyway, the first ep is up, in which Anneka and Will are getting along swimmingly. HAR! Go see. Leave a comment on the site. Remember, you can follow the LHF feed at http://lovehasfangs.livejournal.com .

For a ton of just-added character sketches, please visit the cast page to link to them all. Each sketch contains a mini cartoon to enliven the dull biographical details. I made too many to count, so just head over and flip through them. Then leave a comment. I fixed it so that you can leave comments now.

sailorzeo is now on my list of known readers, which also includes damsel_ophelia, dollsahoy, batchix, freak42 and stevie_stever! That makes 6. Hooray!

Remember -- you can add LHF to your friends list by following its feed here: http://syndicated.livejournal.com/lovehasfangs/profile --

I started off with 12 subscribers [from a previous iteration of LHF], and now I'm up to 15. Perhaps some of my known readers are subscribing...

Incidentally, sailorzeo gave me a friendly shout-out in her blog today, in which she admits, "I'm fairly excited to see what new stories she'll be telling." I'm excited too!

Now you can leave comments on my comics! Go to http://www.oddpla.net/lhf/ to find and comment on the latest eps.

Remember -- you can also add LHF to your LJ feeds so it appears conveniently on your friends list: http://lovehasfangs.livejournal.com